I am not much of a nature girl. The Great Outdoors and all that. I like to leave that to people who enjoy camping, and bird-watching, and climbing real rock walls. (Not the kind you find in a gym. Although you won't find me there either.) I admire and respect all that, but it isn't my gig.

I'm a housecat by nature.

However, when I was invited to Ghost Creek Ranch in Bandera, Texas, I decided to make an exception. They have a fabulous barn/bar/theater combo and a hot tub and a chicken coop and neon signs and horses and dogs and ponds and it was a bit like they were introducing me to civilization in a way I never imagined. Perhaps the way it should be? I was ankle-deep in a muddy horse field (and I was informed, when I was barefoot and already halfway in, that it wasn't JUST mud I was wading through) and I thought hey, people pay money for this kind of thing. Maybe this as close as I'll ever get to nature. This is REAL. Maybe this is a good thing. I'm sure I have ancestors who waded through their fair share of honest mud...and horse droppings. I can do this. This is LEGIT!

It was incredibly hot, and I was incredibly (horrifyingly) sweaty, but you know what? I'm not in any of the photos. You're welcome. And the people who ARE in the photos? Such good sports. You literally can't see them sweat. They gracefully dealt with this graceless urban girl on their beautiful ranch in God's Texas hill country.

And they smiled as if they knew something I don't.

They may not be wrong.